More effective than "Say ______"

Today’s newsletter is very short. Enjoy! Plus, I’ve included a note at the bottom if you’ve found this newsletter helpful!

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It’s common for us as parents to encourage our kids with prompts like:

👉 “Say please.”

👉 “Say thank you.”

👉 “Say hi to Grandma.”

These aren’t wrong. Sometimes, a reminder is just fine! But most of the time, prompts like these are about imitation. That means your child is copying what you told them to say in that exact moment.

Why Imitation Isn’t Enough

Imitation is like practicing a script. It can be helpful for learning how words sound or what words we can use, but it doesn’t always teach kids when or why to use those words. For example, if your child only says “thank you” when you prompt them, they may not think to use it at preschool when a friend shares a toy - because no one is there to whisper, “Say thank you.”

What we really want is for kids to use language independently - to read the situation, understand what’s appropriate, and then use their words naturally. That skill develops best when kids hear language modeled in meaningful, everyday moments.

Try Modeling Instead

✅ Instead of: “Say please”
Try: “I’d love more juice please,” as you pour.

✅ Instead of: “Say hi to Grandma”
Try: “Hi, Grandma! We missed you!” while smiling and waving.

✅ Instead of: “Say thank you”
Try: “Thank you for helping me clean up!” when they pitch in.

While modeling and imitation might seem like the same thing, there’s a key difference: When you model, you’re showing your child how words fit into real life across a variety of settings. You’re giving them the tools; not just the script.

Parent Challenge: Show, Don’t Tell

This week, try choosing one or two routines in your day - like mealtimes or greetings - and focus on modeling instead of prompting. Watch to see if your child starts to use the words on their own in other settings, and transfer the vocabulary to new places without you having to remind them.

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Thanks for reading! Here’s my ask to you:

We want to land in the inbox of 1,000 parents & caregivers by the end of 2025! Would you share this with any young or future parents that you know?

Simply send them this link: speechwithcasey.com and tell them it’s a free newsletter from a Speech Therapist, made to build your confidence as you help your young children learn to communicate.

Thanks in advance - talk to you soon!

Casey

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